Ends and beginings

by wonderfullyrich on April 17, 2009

It seems fitting that I’m leaving DC the way I entered it. It’s just a Just a few months shy of three years after I took a long journey around south asia, from which I flew directly to DC and started work for FNCL. Here again I find myself ready to fly directly from DC now to the Great Lakes region of Africa, leaving DC and the US behind indefinitely.

Having just sold an entire room full of stuff, shipped as little as I can manage to my parents (many thanks Mom & Dad), and stressed my through all the loose ends of moving, I now feel very committed to this move, even if I’m still not sure that my understanding of what conditions Andrew and Angela are living are. It’s begun to dawn on my that I’m spoiled by the hot showers I take, the ability to get chocolate, overnight delivery of online shopping, clean water (relatively), accessible and mostly reliable medical care, etc.

Admittedly I’m not living in the bush, I’m just visiting. It’s not entirely the bush either, although it will lack much Americans take for granted. Then in three weeks I’ll be in Cape Town with Angela, so this is just a jaunt. I think I feel differently about this because I could see myself back where andrew and angela are before long.

I have no real plan. This is an adhoc journey created from a the loss of my job, and a will to see where angela and andrew want to work and live. I see myself draw towards the area myself, but ignorantly. I don’t have the language or a full cultural understanding of the situation. I’m depending on others who’ve set up shop already.

Hopefully I can add my own skills to the mix to empower and facilitate an improved standard of living. Part of this though is selfish. DC took a lot out of me. I’m walking away somewhat bitter. I know I’m bitter and am trying to focus on the good parts and be mindful of the present without obsessing about the future. This has helped, but part of this trip is a journey to center myself. I’m also hoping to become part of a whole with Angela, helping her help me, and loving each other while it happens.

This then marks the end and beginning of an era in my life, but one that I won’t see clearly for months or years. We all live in the now, from our own point of view, and although we relfect on the past, that past fades as memory fades, similarlly the future is a plan that changes as the now happens so the plan and it’s future cannot be entirely controlled.

Needless to say I’m looking forward to embracing the “now” in my journey. I know I have hope and love in my future.

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